Meet Sam – From Dad's Perspective
Sam is 7 years old now. A lively, curious boy with a huge heart, endless curiosity, and a very special way of seeing the world.
From the beginning, everything was more intense with Sam. As a baby, he cried for hours – not because something was missing, but because everything was too much. Sounds, smells, touches – unfiltered, simultaneous, overwhelming. We held him, cuddled, gave warmth and security as best we could.
At one year old, he was already walking and speaking his first sentences. At two, he knew all his letters – self-taught – and began reading. Books were his great love. Hours of listening to stories, studying pictures, absorbing everything.
Daycare at eighteen months was hard for him. Without us, in that loud, chaotic environment, he was often overwhelmed. But at the same time, he showed how much was in him: He explained pumps, colors, technology to other kids. And he loved lining things up – sometimes over sixty feet long.
At four came the many doctor visits, tests, conversations. Then the diagnosis: Autism and ADHD. Suddenly so much had a name. We began adapting our daily life – structure, predictability, rituals. That gave Sam security.
His emotions are huge. When he laughs, his whole face beams. When he's angry, it's like a storm – uncontrollable, overwhelming. Especially when something goes differently than discussed. Then he hits or throws things. We've learned to recognize the signs and help him come back down.
At school he has an aide who guides him through the day – always the same, reliable, clear. Sometimes he's bored because he can already read and do math. But he's also found friends, discovered hobbies, and his love for LEGO is boundless.
Today Sam is a joyful child full of energy, interests, and feelings. He marvels at the world, discovers something new every day, and shows us again and again how special his view of life is.
This is Sam. Our son. Unique, wonderful – and the inspiration for this website.
Preface
Welcome.
My name is Paul. Together with my wife Katharina and our two children Sam and Johanna, we're walking our own family path.
Sam is 7 years old and has autism and ADHD. The diagnosis came when he was 4 – and maybe you know that moment: Suddenly everything is different. Many things get a name, but at the same time new questions, worries, and uncertainties emerge.
Autism doesn't just change the child's life – it changes the whole family system. Daily life. Expectations. The view of the future. You learn to look more closely, redefine patience, and appreciate small progress.
This website is for parents, friends, and grandparents. For everyone who thinks: "Yes, that's exactly how it feels for us too."
Maybe our experiences, ideas, and decisions will help you better understand your own family life or make it a little more relaxed.
Daily Life & Routines
Structure, predictability, and clear agreements are central building blocks of our family life. Each link leads to a detailed experience report.
Morning Routine
Fixed sequence from waking up to leaving – with visual plans and clear language.
Getting Dressed Without Escalation
Prepare clothes, limit choices, avoid sensory triggers.
Managing Transitions
Announce changes, use countdowns, make transitions visible.
Understanding Meltdowns
Recognize early signals and enable timely withdrawal.
Safe Spaces at Home
Clear agreement on when withdrawal is allowed and desired.
Afternoon Routine
First regulation, then demands – never the other way around.
Screen Time
Fixed times, clear endpoints, visual timers.
Meals & Sensory Issues
Acceptance instead of pressure – expansion only in safe moments.
Sleep Preparation & Bedtime
Clear rituals, same sequence, no negotiation.
Dealing with Sleep Problems
Calm presence and pre-agreed options at night.
School & Learning
School is a highly complex environment for autistic children with ADHD. Our routines aim to catch overwhelm early and strengthen self-efficacy.
Disclosure at School
Prepared with therapist: age-appropriate, voluntary, and controlled.
Morning Meeting with School Aide
Fixed meeting point, same greeting, brief situation assessment.
Emergency Routine in Classroom
What Sam can do when it becomes too much.
Daily Debrief
Brief reflection without blame.
Homework Arrangements
Reduced scope, stopping allowed.
Teacher Collaboration
Professional, solution-oriented, regular.
Parents, Couples & Self-Care
Long-term, daily life only works if the parents remain stable too. This section addresses burden, responsibility, and boundaries.
Hobbies, Interests & Resources
Interests aren't a side issue, but a central resource. This section shows how we purposefully use hobbies.
Contact
Questions, feedback, or topic suggestions? Feel free to reach out:
Email: rawe.p@freenet.de
Social Environment & Relationships
Autism never affects just the child, but always the social environment too. These experience reports show how we handle family, friends, and public situations.
Siblings Understanding Autism
How we explain age-appropriately without overwhelming.
Making & Keeping Friends
Why quantity isn't the goal.
When Family Doesn't Understand
Setting boundaries without cutting contact.
Public Situations
Stares, comments, and how we handle them.
Birthday Parties
Inviting, declining, preparing.
Our Breakthrough:
Social Stories