Our Daily Life – Honest, Warm, and Sometimes Chaotic
At first, mornings were an enormous challenge for all of us. Getting Sam out of bed and preparing him for the day was filled with resistance, frustration, and stress – for him and for us.
The crucial change didn't come through pressure or explanations, but through clearly defined, always identical routines. Only through this could we gain Sam's acceptance. Today, our mornings are mostly calm and predictable.
Sam usually wakes up on his own around 6:30 AM. He gets up and immediately gets his breakfast: bread with sprinkles. Always the same bread. Always the same sprinkles. No variation.
This includes his water bottle and an audiobook – both fixed parts of the routine. This consistency gives him security and helps him arrive internally.
Breakfast for Sam isn't a time for talking or planning. It's a transition – from sleeping to waking, from night to day. The predictability of this moment makes the rest of the morning possible.
Only after breakfast, when Sam is internally ready, do we begin the next steps: getting dressed, getting ready, going to school.
Our Solutions
- Fixed start to the day at the same time
- Always the same breakfast as a transition from sleep to daily life
- Water bottle and audiobook as fixed companions
- No conversations or demands during breakfast
- Peace and time to arrive internally
- Only then do the next steps begin
- We adapt the routine to Sam – not the other way around
What the Science Says (Brief & Understandable)
Autistic children often struggle with transitions, especially when switching from rest (sleeping) to active demands (getting up, dressing, school).
Studies show that fixed morning routines significantly improve self-regulation and reduce resistance.
A consistent routine reduces cognitive load because decisions are eliminated. The brain can automatically retrieve familiar action chains instead of constantly processing new stimuli.
Auditory accompaniment (like audiobooks) can additionally help reduce stress and facilitate transitions.
Consistency at breakfast – always the same food – avoids decision stress and creates a reliable anchor point in the morning.
Selected Sources:
DSM-5-TR – Autism Spectrum Disorder
Hume et al. (2014): Visual supports for students with ASD
American Academy of Pediatrics – Autism and Daily Living Skills
Mesibov & Shea (2010)
What We've Learned
There's no "normal" morning. There are only mornings that work – or don't.
For Sam, structure means security. For us, it means less escalation and more shared calm.
A good day doesn't start with perfection – but with predictability.