When "Cute" Becomes "Difficult"
At the beginning, when children are still small, for many people around you everything is first cute and adorable. A smile here, an "Oh how sweet" there, a bit of understanding for restlessness or tears.
But that changes quickly.
When too many stimuli come together for a child and Sam screams at every shopping trip or city walk because noises, people, light, and movement simply overwhelm him, the view from outside changes significantly.
From "Oh, the little one" it becomes:
"Let him cry, he needs to learn that."
Or worse: "Be tougher with him, then it'll stop."
These are statements that hurt. And they hit especially hard when you're already at your limit.
Openness – And Very Different Reactions
When we tell people that Sam is on the autism spectrum, we encounter divided reactions.
Some react with understanding, withdraw, or even offer help.
Others react defensively, uncertainly, or with visible incomprehension.
The tension between education, justification, and self-protection constantly accompanies you in public situations.
Less Is More
What we've learned very clearly: The fewer sensory impressions acting on Sam, the better he does.
Large, crowded shopping centers, loud city centers, or hectic events are extremely stressful for him.
He much prefers going to places:
- where it's quiet
- where it's manageable
- where there's new, clearly structured content for him
For example:
- Museums
- Relatively empty outdoor or indoor pools
- Places with lots of space and little crowding
Preparation Is Key
When we pay attention to the warning signs we developed using our meltdown and shutdown chart, public situations work surprisingly well for Sam.
What's always important:
- Discuss everything exactly beforehand
- Clearly announce times
- Explain the schedule
- Plan breaks
Especially at the beginning, we bring noise-canceling headphones. Just the possibility of putting them on gives Sam security.
This makes the day manageable for him and, at best, also good.
Our Most Important Strategies
- Choose low-stimulus times (early morning, weekdays)
- Announce clear duration
- Plan escape options
- Take warning signs seriously
- Have headphones ready
- No discussions during meltdown
- Better to leave early than too late
What the Science Says (Brief & Understandable)
Children on the autism spectrum often have altered sensory processing. Sounds, light, smells, or touches are perceived more intensely or without filtering.
Studies show that sensory overload can lead to:
- Stress reactions
- Anxiety
- Meltdowns or shutdowns
– not from defiance, but as a neurobiological overload reaction.
Research results also prove that structured preparation, predictability, and sensory aids (e.g., headphones) can significantly reduce stress in public spaces.
Selected Sources:
DSM-5-TR: Autism Spectrum Disorder
American Psychiatric Association
Baranek et al. (2006)
Schaaf et al. (2014)
What We've Learned
Public situations don't become easier because the child "needs to learn it," but because you make them plannable together.
Low-stimulus places, clear times, and early intervention aren't weakness – they're self-protection.
And sometimes the bravest step isn't persevering, but leaving at the right time.