Our Daily Life – Honest, Warm, and Sometimes Chaotic
After breakfast comes Sam's next big step: getting dressed.
Here too: What sounds spontaneous and simple is a complex task for Sam that requires structure, advance notice, and above all, time.
After breakfast, getting dressed is clearly announced. When there's enough time, my wife lays out his clothes for him. Sam then uses a folding plan that he works through step by step.
This process can take up to 50 minutes.
He needs regular reminders about the current step, for example: "Now the sweater, please."
The sequence is always identical:
Socks on? → check → check off → next piece of clothing.
Deviations almost always lead to uncertainty.
When time is tight, we take over dressing completely. That's not failure – that's pragmatism. Then we go straight to school.
Our Solutions
- Clear verbal announcement of getting dressed after breakfast
- Clothes are laid out beforehand – no decisions in the morning
- Visual folding plan with fixed sequence
- Regular reminders for each individual step
- Plan plenty of time – up to 50 minutes
- No unnecessary pressure or time stress
- Support or complete takeover when time pressure arises
- We adapt the routine to Sam – not the other way around
What the Science Says (Brief & Understandable)
Autistic children often struggle with complex action sequences like getting dressed, as these require many individual steps, coordination, and planning.
Studies show that visual support systems like step-by-step plans significantly improve independence and reduce resistance.
A folding plan makes the routine visible, understandable, and controllable. Checking off individual steps provides a sense of achievement and reduces overwhelm.
Important: Time pressure increases stress and can lead to blockages or refusal.
Parental support or takeover when time is short isn't weakness, but a form of co-regulation.
Selected Sources:
DSM-5-TR – Autism Spectrum Disorder
Hume et al. (2014): Visual supports for students with ASD
American Academy of Pediatrics – Autism and Daily Living Skills
Mesibov & Shea (2010)
What We've Learned
Getting dressed isn't a given. It's a process.
For Sam, the folding plan means security and self-efficacy. For us, it means fewer discussions and more relaxation.
And sometimes support doesn't mean failure – it means love.