Our Daily Life – Honest, Warm, and A Bit Chaotic
"Okay, playtime is over. Please get changed, it's bedtime."
Today? Yes – can work.
At the beginning? Disaster. Meltdown. Tears. Overwhelm. Withdrawal.
And actually, from Sam's perspective it's completely understandable: How can you just, without warning, without transition, without explanation, end a situation you're completely immersed in?
For Sam, an abrupt interruption doesn't just mean "now do something else." It means the sudden loss of control, a hard cut in his internal order.
It took us a long time to understand: Not the change itself is the problem – but how it happens.
Our Solutions
Today we use a weekly and daily schedule that shows Sam at any time what's happening now, what's coming next, and what follows after.
Changes are always announced well in advance. Very important: We deliberately interrupt whatever Sam is currently doing.
The audiobook is paused. The game is left. We get to eye level.
We look at him and explicitly ask if he's ready to listen. Only with a positive response do we continue.
Then we announce the change concretely – with clear time indication and timer: "In ten minutes we'll get changed and go to bed."
After this announcement, Sam can resume his activity. He knows: Everything's been said now. Nothing surprising will come.
The timer then takes on the role of the "bad guy." We don't end the situation – the timer announces the transition.
Transitions in Daily Life
This approach works for almost all activities:
- Going to school
- Starting meals
- Going for a walk
- Screen time ending
- Evening routine beginning
The process is always the same. And that's exactly what makes it bearable for Sam.
What the Science Says (Brief & Understandable)
Autistic children often have difficulties with attention shifts and ending highly focused activities.
Abrupt transitions can lead to acute stress reactions because the brain doesn't have sufficient time to adjust to a new situation.
Studies show that visual and temporal announcements, clear recurring routines, and involving the child in the transition significantly reduce the frequency of meltdowns.
External timekeepers like timers or alarms have a relieving effect because they remove social confrontation from the transition.
Selected Sources:
DSM-5-TR – Autism Spectrum Disorder
Hume et al. (2014): Supporting transitions for individuals with ASD
American Academy of Pediatrics – Self-Regulation and Transitions
Mesibov & Shea (2010)
What We've Learned
Transitions don't have to be perfect. They just have to be predictable.
For Sam, this means: more security, less stress, and significantly less escalation.
When we design transitions respectfully, a daily battle becomes a shared journey.