Professional Dialogue Between Educators
We're very fortunate with Sam's classroom teacher.
She's not only highly motivated and dedicated – she also regularly engages in professional dialogue with my wife, who is herself an elementary school teacher.
This is a huge advantage for us.
Because this exchange happens on equal footing. Two teachers, both coming from practical experience, both knowing how school life works – and both understanding that Sam needs special support.
It's not a conversation between "worried parents" and "overwhelmed teachers." It's a professional exchange between experts who are jointly looking for solutions.
And that makes a tremendous difference.
Brief Feedback at the Door
Normally the school aide handles the handoff at the school gate. She gives us a quick update: How was the day? Were there any special incidents? What should we watch for?
But sometimes the school aide is sick. That happens. And then Sam's teacher steps in.
She brings Sam out of school herself, hands him over to us at the door – and gives us brief feedback about the day.
These conversations are always kept short. A few minutes, no more. But they're enormously valuable.
We learn how Sam behaved in class, whether he could work attentively, whether there were conflicts, whether he seemed tired or overstimulated.
These little bits of information help us plan the afternoon better and give Sam exactly the support he needs after such a school day.
Why Motivation Is So Important
There are teachers who do their job. And there are teachers who truly engage.
Sam's teacher belongs to the second category.
She's highly motivated, doesn't see Sam as a "problem" but as a child with special needs – and actively works to meet them.
This doesn't mean everything always runs perfectly. Of course there are difficult days. Of course there are situations where nobody knows exactly what's right.
But her fundamental attitude makes the difference: She wants Sam to succeed. She wants it to work.
And we feel this attitude – and Sam feels it too.
What These Debriefs Accomplish
These regular feedbacks – whether from the school aide or the teacher – are indispensable for us.
They give us insight into Sam's school life that we wouldn't otherwise have. Sam himself can't always tell us in detail how his day was. Sometimes he comes home and just says "good" – nothing more.
But we need to know what really happened. Was he overwhelmed? Did he eat well? Was there a conflict with other children? Did he get loud or aggressive?
All this information helps us understand Sam better and support him better.
Additionally, it enables us to respond early to problems before they become entrenched.
If we notice, for example, that Sam comes home very tense from school several days in a row, we can work together with the teacher to figure out what might be causing it – and what we can change.
What the Research Says
Studies on school inclusion consistently show: One of the most important factors for the success of autistic children in mainstream schools is the quality of communication between parents and teachers.
Regular exchange, mutual understanding, and a shared attitude are crucial for inclusion to succeed.
A study on inclusion of children with autism spectrum disorders in elementary school (University of Graz, 2015) proves that successful collaboration between parents and teachers significantly contributes to inclusion success. Particularly important is the teacher's attitude: Children with autism demonstrably benefit from teachers who are intrinsically motivated, pursue continuing education, and respond individually to the child (Grummt & Lindmeier, 2022).
The professional dialogue, as it happens between Sam's teacher and my wife, is especially valuable. Because it enables developing educational strategies on equal footing and quickly adapting them.
In other words: What works well for us is no coincidence. It's the result of professional, dedicated, and human collaboration.
What We've Learned
The daily debrief isn't interrogation – it's partnership.
When teachers and parents work together professionally, children like Sam have the best chance of success.
And a motivated teacher? That's worth more than any intervention program.