For Me, One of the Hardest Things Ever
Accepting help – for me, one of the hardest things ever.
After all, I was more or less completely on my own at 16 and had to manage everything myself.
That attitude runs deep. For years I thought: Whoever accepts help is weak. Whoever manages everything alone is strong.
But that's not true.
Whoever accepts help isn't weak – they're smart enough to recognize that you get further together.
The Help We Received
We really got great help to better understand Sam.
Sam received very intensive therapy where a therapist came to us twice a week and worked with him on:
- What are feelings?
- How does the other person feel?
- How do I react in certain situations?
For many situations, there were social stories that helped Sam better understand the world.
And we as parents also received regular training from the therapy team.
Additionally, we received a lot of informational materials that really helped.
Family Therapy – An Outside Perspective
Currently, we're doing family therapy. It takes place once a month and it really helps a lot.
It's totally important to have someone from the outside who isn't emotionally caught up in it, to assess the family situation and help at the right points through good counseling.
When you're standing in the middle of the storm, you often can't see clearly anymore.
A neutral outside view helps recognize patterns, develop strategies, and not get lost in daily life.
This therapy isn't a weakness – it's a tool. And it works.
What We've Learned
Accepting help doesn't mean you've failed.
It means you're willing to learn, grow, and do the best for your child.
Through therapy, we better understood Sam. And through family therapy, we better understood ourselves as a family.
We couldn't have done that alone.
What the Science Says
Parents of children on the autism spectrum demonstrably benefit from professional support.
Studies show that:
- Parent training increases competence in dealing with challenging behavior
- Social stories improve understanding of social situations in autistic children
- Family therapy significantly facilitates communication and living together
- External perspectives help break through stuck patterns
Families who seek professional help report:
- more security in daily life
- less stress and overwhelm
- better relationship with the child
- more understanding of the child's behavior
Sources (Selection):
Bearss et al. (2015) – Parent Training for Disruptive Behavior
Gray (1998) – Social Stories
Karst & Van Hecke (2012) – Parent and Family Impact
McConachie & Diggle (2007) – Parent-mediated Interventions
A Final Thought
If you're reading this and thinking: "But I have to manage this alone" – then I'm telling you:
No, you don't.
And it's also not a sign of weakness when you accept help.