Homework Guidelines

Why I Stay Out of Homework

When it comes to homework, I'm honest: This is largely my wife's domain.

She's a teacher and recognized early on how important it is to approach homework differently with Sam than with neurotypical children. Additionally, Sam already had targeted, highly specialized autism therapy from the start of school that covered many educational aspects.

So I've almost completely handed this topic over to my wife – because she simply knows better how it can work, and because I reach my limits faster on this topic than on others.

But even though I'm not directly involved: I naturally see how it goes. And I can say: Homework with Sam is one of the biggest challenges of our daily life.

The Problem with Homework

Sam could read and do math early on. And that's exactly part of the problem.

Because when he gets homework where he's supposed to do things he can already do, he asks – quite rightly – why he should do it at all.

For him it makes no sense to repeat something he already masters. He doesn't understand the educational logic behind it. And honestly: Can you blame him?

His concentration on homework is quickly exhausted. Very quickly.

When it becomes too much, he gets loud, aggressive, frustrated. He then needs a lot of breaks – often more break time than actual work time.

Homework for Sam isn't a normal part of the school day. It's a burden that pushes him to his limits.

What We've Tried

We've tried a lot to make homework manageable for Sam.

Homework only on weekends? Didn't work. The weekend is for recovery, not additional stress.

Homework after a rest period? Works sometimes, but even then attention span is limited.

The truth is: Homework remains a huge challenge. Every single day anew.

We haven't found a perfect solution. But we've developed strategies that at least work halfway.

How We Approach It Now

What helps us is a clear reward system. Sam can earn time when he does homework.

For example: TV time. Time for computer games. Things that are important to him and that he can earn.

This isn't bribery. It's a clear agreement: You do something that's hard for you, and you get something that's important to you.

On days when Sam's therapy is scheduled, he's exempt from homework. Therapy costs him enough energy – it would be irresponsible to demand homework on top of that.

We've discussed this with the school, and it works.

✨ Evidence-based • Immediately actionable • Developed by a teacher who understands what works

The Thing About Lines

One detail that's huge for Sam: The lines on worksheets.

The lines confuse and irritate him. They distract him, make it harder to concentrate on the actual task.

So Sam always gets sheets without lines. Simply white sheets where he can write without the structure bothering him.

This sounds like a small thing, but for Sam it makes an enormous difference.

Typing as an Alternative

Since Sam writes very slowly by hand, I practiced touch typing with him.

He's also allowed to write on the tablet or laptop – and that helps him enormously.

His speed when writing by hand is really very slow. But every letter looks printed. Perfectly formed, perfectly placed.

On the keyboard he's faster, though it still takes time. But it's an option that helps him capture his thoughts without the motor demands overwhelming him.

Here too it was important to talk with the school and enable this alternative. Not all schools are immediately open to this – but it's worth fighting for.

What the Research Says

Studies show that autistic children often have difficulties with homework – not because they're cognitively incapable, but because the conditions don't fit for them.

Homework often demands things that are particularly difficult for autistic children: self-organization, longer concentration on an uninteresting task, fine motor coordination when writing, dealing with frustration.

Research clearly shows: Autistic students require individualized learning approaches. An overview in the Journal of Educational Psychology (Hogrefe, 2024) proves that individually adapted learning strategies – like clear reward systems, reduced task quantities, alternative processing forms – bring significantly better results than rigid standard requirements. Studies by Macoun et al. (2020) and Spaniol et al. (2018) could even demonstrate transfer effects on academic competencies.

In other words: It's not a weakness to design homework differently. It's an adaptation to the child's needs – and that's exactly what school should actually provide.

What We've Learned

Homework with Sam will probably never be easy. But it doesn't have to be perfect either.

What counts is that we find ways that work for Sam – even if they don't match what other kids do.

Sheets without lines. Keyboard instead of handwriting. Reward systems. Therapy days without homework. These are all not special privileges. They're necessary adaptations.

And we've learned that it's okay to accept help – in our case especially from my wife, who approaches the topic with a lot of patience and expertise.

Sometimes you don't have to handle everything yourself. Sometimes it's enough to create the right conditions and then trust someone else.