The Advantage We Have
My wife is an elementary school teacher herself. That's an enormous advantage – not just for us as parents, but especially for Sam.
Because she speaks the same language as Sam's classroom teacher. She understands the challenges of school life from a professional perspective. She knows what's feasible and what isn't. She can make suggestions that are realistic.
And that's exactly what makes the collaboration so productive.
It's not a conversation between "worried parents" and "stressed teachers." It's a professional exchange between two experts who both want only one thing: for it to work for Sam.
This doesn't mean everything always runs smoothly. But it means we work on a common foundation – with mutual respect and understanding.
Feedback That Actually Helps
Sam's teacher gives a lot of feedback. And not just any feedback – good, concrete, helpful feedback.
She doesn't just tell us whether the day was "good" or "bad." She tells us exactly what happened. How Sam reacted to certain situations. Where he made progress. Where he had difficulties.
This helps us enormously.
Because only when we know what's happening at school can we respond at home. Only when we understand which challenges Sam has to manage in school life can we give him the support he needs.
And we get exactly this feedback. Regularly. Honestly. Without sugarcoating, but also without unnecessary dramatization.
That's worth its weight in gold.
When We Change Something, She's Involved
Sometimes we notice at home that something isn't working. That Sam is overwhelmed. That a strategy isn't taking hold. That we need to do something differently.
And when that's the case – especially when it involves school matters – we involve Sam's teacher.
Not as after-the-fact information. But as an active partner in finding solutions.
We discuss together what we want to change. What that means for school life. How she can implement it. What she needs from us for it to work.
And she participates. She commits. She tries things out. She adapts her teaching when necessary.
This isn't a given. Many teachers see such conversations as an additional burden. For Sam's teacher, they're part of her work.
And that's exactly why it works.
A Trusted Person for Sam
Sam's teacher isn't just a teacher. She's a trusted person for him.
That might sound obvious – but for autistic children it's not.
Building trust takes a very long time with Sam. New people are initially suspect. New situations are threatening. New demands are overwhelming.
But his teacher has managed to build this trust.
Sam knows: With her he's safe. She understands him. She takes him seriously. She helps him when things get difficult.
This foundation of trust is what everything else is built on. Without it, school would hardly be manageable for Sam.
As an Advocate During Assessments
There are assessments again and again. Evaluators who are supposed to assess whether Sam really needs the school aide. Agencies checking applications. Authorities wanting to decide what's necessary and what isn't.
And during these assessments, Sam's teacher is there.
Not as a silent observer. But as an active advocate.
She explains why Sam needs support. She describes concrete situations where the school aide is indispensable. She makes clear what would happen without this help.
And that carries weight. Because she speaks from daily school experience. She's not an "overly concerned mother" – she's a professional who knows exactly what she's talking about.
Her advocacy has helped us multiple times to maintain the school aide funding. Without her support, we would have had a much harder time.
What We've Learned
The relationship with Sam's teacher isn't just a nice bonus. It's a necessity.
Without her professional engagement, without her willingness to truly see Sam, without her trust and feedback – school wouldn't work for him.
We're lucky to have her. But we also know: Good collaboration can be built. It requires openness on both sides. It requires respect. It requires the shared conviction that the child comes first.